Notes for Talk #2: Mary Ann Hayes, OCDS, LCSW-C

On Saturday, Betty and I and Eileen Hilleary were blessed to attend the Diocese of Arlington's Women's Conference.  We were able to listen to two amazing speakers: Dr. Peter Kreeft and Mary Ann Hayes.   Here are the notes that Mary Ann Hayes provided which highlight ten common patterns of negative thinking, which is important, because, as she pointed out,  our underlying thoughts generate our emotions.

Cognitive Distortions

Cognitive Distortions are discrete, habitual patterns of thinking (“automatic thoughts”) that are misperceptions of reality.  Such misperceptions, often rooted in negative experiences from early childhood, cause one to experience a debilitation emotion, such as anxiety or depression, which one feels powerless to change.

By identifying the negative emotion and examining the underlying thought process, we are able to correct our faulty thinking and see reality more accurately.  This empowers us to take control of emotional life and gain great freedom in action.

The Ten Cognitive Distortions

1.     All or Nothing Thinking:  Life is black or white---No grays.

“I need to perfect, or I am unacceptable.”

2.     Overgeneralization:  Drawing negative conclusions about the future from one event/circumstance.

“My last relationship didn’t work out.  I guess I’ll never get married.”

3.     Disqualifying the Positive:  Refusing to see the good that is present.

“She doesn’t really like me.  She is just nice to everyone.”

4.     Jumping to Conclusions: Reaching conclusions without sufficient data.

“I texted him an hour ago and I haven’t heard a reply.  I guess he doesn’t want to see me anymore.”

5.     Magnification & Minimization:  Catastrophizing and denial.

“This is a crisis!” and “I didn’t realize we had a problem.”

6.     Selective Negative Focus:  Always looking for the negative in a situation.

“The glass is maybe 90% full, but it’s 10% empty!”

7.     Emotional Reasoning:  Emotions are evidence of truth.

“I feel inadequate.  I must be useless.”

8.     Labeling & Mislabeling:  An extreme form of over-generalization.  Putting self and others in boxes with -/+ Labels.

“I’m a failure.”

9.     Overuse of “Shoulds”: Insisting that you or life be a particular way, rather than how you/life is.

“Life should be fair!”

10. Personalization:  You consider yourself responsible for negative events, though they have nothing to do with you.

“She didn’t stop by my desk this morning to say hello.  I probably offended her somehow.”

Adapted from: David Burns, Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy,

Signet 1981.